Since I haven't blogged in awhile, I'd like to just skim over some of my most recent ponderings...the things that have been on my mind the most.
I have found a joy in birdwatching after my sister Tiffany's brief time at home before she went off to her next job; she taught me a handful of birds by name, appearance and song or call. I taught myself some others by using the endless information on the Internet. For the first few weeks or so, I was keeping a regular journal on my bird-watching experiences, but I haven't written in it for awhile either.
Tom has gotten me into playing Oblivion, the sequel to Morrowind on X-box. This is one of many reasons I haven't written much in awhile, and I feel rather guilty for it. My dream is to become a published author and what do I do with the tiny bit of free time I have? Play a video game that essentially gets me no where other than escaping reality for a bit. I suppose it's just like any other hobby -- most, if not all, hobbies (mine, at least) are a means to briefly live in another reality. When I write, I put myself in the story instead of reality; when I paint, I kind-of float to that distant place beyond reality as well; when I play an RPG video game, I am temporarily living the life of the character I am playing instead of my own.
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Isn't there some unspoken, unofficial "principle" that says when a girl or guy breaks up with someone, the family minimizes or altogether stops associating with that person? I could be totally wrong and off on this one, or maybe I'm just basing it on my own experience. It's not necessarily that the family no longer likes the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend of their family member (though sometimes this is indeed the case), but that the family's loyalty is first to family and thus they cease anything that might hurt their family member or hinder their relationship with their family member or hinder their relationship with their family member's next boyfriend/girlfriend.
I remember when my brother dated this girl for awhile and then was engaged to her for 5 years or so before it broke off unexpectedly and it hurt the whole family. We had essentially made this girl part of our family - you know the story - she was in all or most of the family photos during those years, she had a special place in our hearts, and being the innocent adolescent that I was, I considered her my sister-in-law even though no wedding had taken place. I think my whole family considered her one of us. We were friends with her family, and we even shared our intercultural customs with each other. Nonetheless, when the relationship ended between this girl and my brother, so did our ties with her and her family. As far as I know, my mom did not continue communicating with her mom for long after the break-up even though they had become good friends. I did not continue communicating with the ex-girlfriend or her sister who was near my age and had been friends with me. It was just an understanding...I don't hold ill will against them...I just know how much pain that broken relationship caused my brother and how much pain the whole thing had caused the family because we essentially lost a family member...but we had to let go just like my brother had to let go.
The same thing happened to me: I dated a guy for 5 years or so, and I thought I was going to marry him even though we never did get engaged. He was part of my life and family for so long that my whole family had more or less adopted him into the family and treated him like he was one of us. Same story - in a lot of family photos, at a lot of family events like Christmas and Thanksgiving, etc. Engrained into our family. Yet, when the time came and relationship ended, we all had to let go. Besides myself, I think it was hardest on my niece and nephew who had grown up in their early years knowing this boy and pretty much thinking he was part of our family and so it came as a shock when all of a sudden, this guy was out of the picture, replaced by someone else eventually and they were not to mention the ex's name anymore for awhile after that in the interest of not hurting me.
This is what I thought all families do. Now that I am married, I am finding out otherwise, and though I won't elaborate in such a public place, suffice it to say that it is on my mind often because I hear the names of my husband's ex's mentioned often within the family and it is very clear to me (awkwardly and uncomfortably so) that they are still a part of the family's lives. My husband says "it's all in the past," but I can't help but think about what if my family had done that with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years (or with any of my ex's) or if our family had done that with my brother's ex-fiance whom we all loved. It's hard to know what to say or what to do. Being the introvert that I am, I find it difficult to be the outgoing person that I prefer to be both around the family and at our church who had also grown to love and care for my husband's ex's. It's an awkward situation to blog about, especially without giving too many details, but that "principle" that I mentioned in the first place is something I've been pondering for awhile now.
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I went to the doctor last week for something unusual that I hadn't experienced before...(without getting too graphic) a red spot on my right breast that spread outward as the days went by. When I decided this wasn't going away on its own, I went to the doctor. It was my 3rd time seeing this doctor, but the last time I saw her was about a year ago, so I was still a little wary about whether or not I "trusted" her as my doctor. She certainly gained much more of my trust during this visit! Not only was she easy to talk to (always a plus), but when she wasn't 100% sure what the spot was, she asked me if I would mind if she called in another of the doctors in that practice to take a look and give a second opinion. The second doctor came in and confirmed what my doctor had suspected, but even so, I was so grateful that she took enough care with my healthcare that she asked for another opinion before jumping to a hasty conclusion.
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Tom noticed that when I type, I always hit the spacebar with my right thumb. I asked Sherlock how he know that when I hadn't even been typing at the time. He said because it looks shinier and worn on that side of the spacebar. So, I attempted to type and push the spacebar with my left thumb, but I couldn't do it fast...it slowed my WPM way down! haha, so I guess the right side of the spacebar will just have to be worn down! It makes me wonder if I type more on the right or left side of the keyboard, or if it has to do with what hand you write with.
Well, there's much more, but that's about all I have time for now! Until later...
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